Sunday, March 6, 2011

A Charlie Sheen Day



While sitting on yet another ‘Open House’ with intermittent rain coming down, praying for that elusive qualified buyer to walk through the door hopefully with an agent that has done all their homework, I start to ruminate on over thirty years of Realtor experiences. This never gets boring!


Could write a book with some of this stuff!


Some of the stunts I have experienced have been wild, nauseating, funny, Be-zar!, and epic!


What triggered this post, was a time, 25 years ago, I was previewing properties for someone wanting to be in the mountains - a remote retreat to --- get away from it all.


Plotted out a few to check out, made appointments days in advance, called the morning of, and called to give each occupant their 15 minute warning call! You would think that would eliminate any one being caught ‘off guard’ right!


The first home and mind you this is 11 a.m., was a real Charlie Sheen moment! Knock, ring bell (literally a bell), a female comes to the door with a vacant stare, I explain who I am ( as if it mattered) she allows me in through a haze of smoke filtering around house, I proceed into the main open area, am offered a Hooka tentacle and told to make my self at home and what am I looking for?? Miscellaneous persons laying about and the remnants of all kinds of debris intermingled in the scene. Must have been going on like this for days. Peace and Later - much later!


The second mountain home ‘viewing’ was of the same vein. Went through the calling/warning ‘I’m coming’ routine. Knock on the door, ring the bell, knock, ring - use lock box! Open door, yell REALTOR!! Yell some more as I proceed. Go upstairs - HELLO -REALTOR, poking around, opening doors, talking loudly, push open bedroom door to ---- a couple definitely enjoying the SHOW they were putting on. Not a word was said, they didn’t miss a beat and I decided they were not even the least bit interested in selling this house.


My last stop of the day, it was about 1:00 in the after noon and I am greeted at the front door by a towel draped woman (the owner) 50ish, blithely wilting around, clutching this towel and ready to drop it at the slightest hint of interest. Being stunned/repulsed by this show, I after taking a couple steps inside, spun on my heel and made a hasty exit. No excuses rendered.


Later that week, having an inspection done on a property in escrow, the inspector and I were greeted at the front door by the owner in his Birthday suit! He asked if he would be needed for anything or if he could accompany us. He was advise to dress otherwise he could end up losing something and a pair of sturdy shoes would be advisable too!


This business uncovers some very lonely and depraved folks out there. It also airs real life. To be a Realtor you have to develop skills way beyond tracking interest rates, neighborhood sales, comparables, the Best schools. This is a real ‘slice of life’ business.


I’ve got more! Fill you in soon!.